In the world of freelancing and consulting, and now that I'm back on the dating market for the first time in 13 years, I'm seeing it more and more. Thoughtful proposals met with radio silence. Collaborative conversations that suddenly go cold. Pitches that disappear into the ether without acknowledgement. Exclusives with media that never run, with no explanation.

There's a pattern here. And I think what's being forgotten is that there's a real person behind every pitch and proposal, every quote, and every follow-up email. Someone who's invested time, expertise, and genuine energy into understanding your needs and crafting a solution.

The cost of ghosting

When you ghost a freelancer or consultant, it stings. It damages trust. It creates uncertainty. It leaves people wondering what went wrong. The ambiguity is often worse than a straight "no."

I've had prospects go silent the moment a proposal is sent. Journalists who've said they're running an exclusive and then published nothing, with no explanation. Potential collaborators who've disappeared after months of conversation (or worse – they’ve won the work you referred them and didn’t even say thank you).

Each time, I'm left in limbo, deleting revenue out of the pipeline, and shelving creative ideas that I worked hard on, wondering why I bothered.

Ghosting has become normalised, almost expected. But that doesn't make it okay.

Why it (might) happen

I understand the pressures. Priorities shift. Budgets get cut. A better option comes along (ahem dating). Decisions get made by committee and suddenly the person who was your contact isn't anymore. You're overwhelmed. You forgot to send that email. A conversation became too awkward to navigate.

I get it. Life is busy.

But here's the truth: kindness doesn't require free time. It requires intention.

The ripple effect

What I've learned is that how you treat people, especially when you're delivering bad news, shapes your reputation in ways you might not expect. The freelancer you ghosted might be someone's best friend. The consultant you didn't follow up with might be connected to your next big opportunity. The journalist you disappointed might remember how you handled it when they're deciding whether to cover your story six months from now.

Business in Australia is small and interconnected. Your kindness, or lack thereof, travels further than you realise.

What kindness actually looks like

Saying no is hard. Delivering bad news is uncomfortable. But it's also the most human, professional thing you can do.

If you've decided not to move forward with a freelancer or consultant, that's absolutely fine. We understand that budgets shift, priorities change, or you've found a better fit elsewhere. Those are legitimate reasons. Just tell us.

If you're a journalist and a story isn't running, give the PR person a heads-up. Give them a reason if you can. Let them know so they can update their client.

If you're a potential collaborator and you've lost interest, send a message. It takes two minutes.

If someone has done you a solid, say thank you.

If you're a colleague who said you'd follow up and you didn't, acknowledge the slip and explain where you're at. People are generally forgiving when you're honest.

We're all navigating busy schedules and competing priorities. We're all drowning in emails and notifications. We're all trying to do our best with limited time and energy.

The screen between us doesn't make us strangers. Let's bring the same courtesy to our online interactions that we'd extend in person – the directness, the honesty, the basic human respect.